So, Friday Evening my friend Carolyn was over and we were watching TV and all of a sudden a sharp pain went through my back. It was my kidney on my right side. I didn't let on, but it sure did hurt. Carolyn left and I told Dale about the pain.
Wow, it hurt. I think this is what back labor feels like.
So Saturday it still hurts so I look on the Internet about kidney stones and I start drinking a lot of water to flush my kidneys.
Monday I go to the doctor. He agrees it is most likely a kidney stone and sends me to get a CT scan. I had that done yesterday. I am still drinking lots of water. It still hurts. I am now on day 5 of the pain. Luckily I have Vicodin for my back and he said keep taking that as needed.
So, i am waiting for it to pass, I have to keep an eye out for my little stone(s).
Just thought I would share the news :)
Don't tell me I need to stop drinking soda or that I need to drink more water. I don't drink soda ever. I have not had any since May and I drink at least 8 glasses of water a day. The doctor says the heat of Florida and the water in Florida result in stones plus my migraine medicine Topamax leads to stones. So don't harass me :)
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Counseling Update!
So, I haven't talked (written) about my counseling lately. It isn't because nothing has gone on, but because I have been really busy lately.
It hasn't been as intense lately, though. Which is good in a way. Life has been moving a long. I am not as angry with God right now. About a month ago I was so angry with the Lord, my Lord. I still have a hard time when I think about it and I can see that my view of God in my own life and my view of God for other people is different. I am learning to deal with that and I am trying to figure out what that means for me and what that means for my theology and how I can believe what I know to be true for others for myself.
What I believe for myself is a lie and what I believe for all of you is what the scriptures have taught me to be true. I think that is why I like studying the scriptures so much, because I need to keep reminding myself of the truth that I know cognitively, because I don't believe it all the time in my heart. Some of my friends comments to my blogs have been great. When i think of Tance's comment, it warms my heart. When I read my Psalm to Jim (my counselor) and Tance's comment was on there even he coked up because of her love and caring for me.
God has always been faithful to bring people into my life to remind me of his goodness and love, Tance and her family have been some of those people. Though not the most religious people, they were the face of God many times over.
This week I brought pictures from Venice to show Jim. It was kind of fun to go through them with him. I also showed them to Jessica that day. I don't look at them very often. Some interesting things came out of that day. Jim noticed that in most of the pictures I was not the center of attention, my brother was. I was either in the background or my back was turned. He also noticed my mom always look put together and I never did. I never had a little girl's hair-do. My dad combed my hair, my mom didnt have much to do with me, except to forget me places. So, there is not one picture as a child with barrettes in my hair or with pig tails or ponytails. I had boy hair, that is the only way my dad knew how to brush hair. I think I was in Middle School before I learned how to put my hair up and that was from someone other then my family.
I also learned i should have been tested for a learning disability. In my box of pictures I have 2 years of standardized tests and report cards. They are from 2nd and 3rd grade. My grades and my tests scores don't match up. I never realized that. Jim figured that out for me. You see the only thing i remember about 3rd grade was that I needed to get smarter. bad things wouldn't happen to me if i was smarter. If I were smarter I would have run, or I would not have gone, I just would have known better. Things owuld be better if I were smarter. So in the beginning of the third grade I decided I needed to get smarter so I moved my desk by my teacher's desk. It payed off. My test scores which were average in 2nd grade were way above average in 3rd grade, but my grades were still way below average. I still cannot remember anything about 3rd grade. I am ok with that. God is protecting me. I understand that.
I have lived my whole life thinking I was dumb. I grew up in my older brother's shadow. He was and is the smart one, even today even though I am the one with a Master's Degree. I did better than he did in College, but that didn't seem to matter. Since Middle School I have received good grades, even excellent grades, but I was never smart enough for my family. You can ask Tance, I was smart, but it was never good enough for my family. This week was good for my heart to know 1) I had a learning disability even back then ( i found out I had dyslexia in middle school) 2) I was not dumb, I was smart!
My friend David is a Teacher and I know he loves what he does and I know he is a great teacher because he longs to have kids love learning. I wish i had a teacher who longed for me to learn when I was little. I wish I had one person see me and paid attention to me and my pain as a small child. What a difference that might have been in my life. I never got that until Middle School. I have always been thankful for Bartram, because that is where i learned to love to learn. I learned that I was special and worthy at Bartram. I had to wait until 7th grade for that. My teachers never cared... Luckily I got out of Venice! praise be to the Lord for that!
lesson for us as grown-ups: Pay attention to the kids around us!!! Watch, learn, love! Be involved! We never realize the needs and pain in those around us.
Enough said!
By the way... I have had a migraine since Tuesday and my back and neck are killing me!!! I hate pain! Vicodin and muscle relaxers are not working neither is my topamax right now.... Please pray that God takes away my pain!
Thanks!
It hasn't been as intense lately, though. Which is good in a way. Life has been moving a long. I am not as angry with God right now. About a month ago I was so angry with the Lord, my Lord. I still have a hard time when I think about it and I can see that my view of God in my own life and my view of God for other people is different. I am learning to deal with that and I am trying to figure out what that means for me and what that means for my theology and how I can believe what I know to be true for others for myself.
What I believe for myself is a lie and what I believe for all of you is what the scriptures have taught me to be true. I think that is why I like studying the scriptures so much, because I need to keep reminding myself of the truth that I know cognitively, because I don't believe it all the time in my heart. Some of my friends comments to my blogs have been great. When i think of Tance's comment, it warms my heart. When I read my Psalm to Jim (my counselor) and Tance's comment was on there even he coked up because of her love and caring for me.
God has always been faithful to bring people into my life to remind me of his goodness and love, Tance and her family have been some of those people. Though not the most religious people, they were the face of God many times over.
This week I brought pictures from Venice to show Jim. It was kind of fun to go through them with him. I also showed them to Jessica that day. I don't look at them very often. Some interesting things came out of that day. Jim noticed that in most of the pictures I was not the center of attention, my brother was. I was either in the background or my back was turned. He also noticed my mom always look put together and I never did. I never had a little girl's hair-do. My dad combed my hair, my mom didnt have much to do with me, except to forget me places. So, there is not one picture as a child with barrettes in my hair or with pig tails or ponytails. I had boy hair, that is the only way my dad knew how to brush hair. I think I was in Middle School before I learned how to put my hair up and that was from someone other then my family.
I also learned i should have been tested for a learning disability. In my box of pictures I have 2 years of standardized tests and report cards. They are from 2nd and 3rd grade. My grades and my tests scores don't match up. I never realized that. Jim figured that out for me. You see the only thing i remember about 3rd grade was that I needed to get smarter. bad things wouldn't happen to me if i was smarter. If I were smarter I would have run, or I would not have gone, I just would have known better. Things owuld be better if I were smarter. So in the beginning of the third grade I decided I needed to get smarter so I moved my desk by my teacher's desk. It payed off. My test scores which were average in 2nd grade were way above average in 3rd grade, but my grades were still way below average. I still cannot remember anything about 3rd grade. I am ok with that. God is protecting me. I understand that.
I have lived my whole life thinking I was dumb. I grew up in my older brother's shadow. He was and is the smart one, even today even though I am the one with a Master's Degree. I did better than he did in College, but that didn't seem to matter. Since Middle School I have received good grades, even excellent grades, but I was never smart enough for my family. You can ask Tance, I was smart, but it was never good enough for my family. This week was good for my heart to know 1) I had a learning disability even back then ( i found out I had dyslexia in middle school) 2) I was not dumb, I was smart!
My friend David is a Teacher and I know he loves what he does and I know he is a great teacher because he longs to have kids love learning. I wish i had a teacher who longed for me to learn when I was little. I wish I had one person see me and paid attention to me and my pain as a small child. What a difference that might have been in my life. I never got that until Middle School. I have always been thankful for Bartram, because that is where i learned to love to learn. I learned that I was special and worthy at Bartram. I had to wait until 7th grade for that. My teachers never cared... Luckily I got out of Venice! praise be to the Lord for that!
lesson for us as grown-ups: Pay attention to the kids around us!!! Watch, learn, love! Be involved! We never realize the needs and pain in those around us.
Enough said!
By the way... I have had a migraine since Tuesday and my back and neck are killing me!!! I hate pain! Vicodin and muscle relaxers are not working neither is my topamax right now.... Please pray that God takes away my pain!
Thanks!
Monday, September 24, 2007
Long time no post...
So I have not posted in a long time, about two months. This summer has been a long one for me. I haven't felt much like posting lately, I still don't. I havent checked my page in a long time. I never have comments, I figure no one knows about my page, no one reads it, so why bother. But today I noticed a comment. So, maybe I will let you know where I have been.
It started in May when I found out my dog, Krusty was sick. She had Cancer and a rare disease; they were linked. The vet didn't really think Krusy would live a month. Well, she did.
This summer was hard because I watched my baby die... it was hard and sad, yet I was so glad to have that time with her. She was and is such a good dog. We lost our baby in late August. It was time. I was so surprised how hard Dale, my husband took it. Krusty is still with us, in the back yard buried by the lake. The house seems so empty, so quiet. Coming home from long weekends or trips is hard, but the hardest time of the day is going to work. I loved saying good-bye to her each morning, giving her the kiss good bye started my day off well. I miss my girl. I will always be Krusty-dog's mom. She was a Krusty ol' dog. Best Damn dog!
My back has been killing me all summer long. I hate it! I can't livein a chemical fog and I can't not live in the pain of not living in one. It has sucked, it is getting worse and no one has answers. So i have struggled with that all summer. Engough said. Today was mediation for the car accident. Lets say it did not go well, not because Dale and I are not reasonalbe people either. Dale's 1994 Camero is worth more that my back and neck! Pathetic!
The fun things this summer included Vince comign to visit for a week. That is always fun. Dale and Vince have bene friends since College and they aways laugh and we all have a great time! Dale had his 20th high school reunion over Labor Day weekend! that was fun, too. It was up in Western PA. Sharon High School Class of 1987. Class reunions are fun! We had a good time!
This past weekend we went to Jacksonville and helped my dad around the house. I picked out things for him around the house and Dale painted his master bedroom. It was good to see good old Dad. Dad brought Dale, Tance, Rose and I out to dinner to say thanks to Dale and I for our help. It was fun to hang out with my friends. Dale and I went out to Dinner with his friend Tony from High School the next night, that was fun, too.
Hopefully things are looking up!
Counseling is going well. I am still not driving. Things have gotten intense over the weeks, but I am hanging in there. My counselor is great! We are unpacking a lot of baggage which i think is helpful. Hopefully it will help me need les control and it will help me to rely on others more freely and especially on God. It has been a scary ride at times, but so has my life.
It is funny, people look at me and see a girl with a life well put together, yeah maybe I have a weight problem, but i have a good life, they don't know me well enough to know the pain I have lived in and through. That is often the case of people around us.
People's stories are full of twists and turns.
So, i hope i wont take so long next time.... sorry!
It started in May when I found out my dog, Krusty was sick. She had Cancer and a rare disease; they were linked. The vet didn't really think Krusy would live a month. Well, she did.
This summer was hard because I watched my baby die... it was hard and sad, yet I was so glad to have that time with her. She was and is such a good dog. We lost our baby in late August. It was time. I was so surprised how hard Dale, my husband took it. Krusty is still with us, in the back yard buried by the lake. The house seems so empty, so quiet. Coming home from long weekends or trips is hard, but the hardest time of the day is going to work. I loved saying good-bye to her each morning, giving her the kiss good bye started my day off well. I miss my girl. I will always be Krusty-dog's mom. She was a Krusty ol' dog. Best Damn dog!
My back has been killing me all summer long. I hate it! I can't livein a chemical fog and I can't not live in the pain of not living in one. It has sucked, it is getting worse and no one has answers. So i have struggled with that all summer. Engough said. Today was mediation for the car accident. Lets say it did not go well, not because Dale and I are not reasonalbe people either. Dale's 1994 Camero is worth more that my back and neck! Pathetic!
The fun things this summer included Vince comign to visit for a week. That is always fun. Dale and Vince have bene friends since College and they aways laugh and we all have a great time! Dale had his 20th high school reunion over Labor Day weekend! that was fun, too. It was up in Western PA. Sharon High School Class of 1987. Class reunions are fun! We had a good time!
This past weekend we went to Jacksonville and helped my dad around the house. I picked out things for him around the house and Dale painted his master bedroom. It was good to see good old Dad. Dad brought Dale, Tance, Rose and I out to dinner to say thanks to Dale and I for our help. It was fun to hang out with my friends. Dale and I went out to Dinner with his friend Tony from High School the next night, that was fun, too.
Hopefully things are looking up!
Counseling is going well. I am still not driving. Things have gotten intense over the weeks, but I am hanging in there. My counselor is great! We are unpacking a lot of baggage which i think is helpful. Hopefully it will help me need les control and it will help me to rely on others more freely and especially on God. It has been a scary ride at times, but so has my life.
It is funny, people look at me and see a girl with a life well put together, yeah maybe I have a weight problem, but i have a good life, they don't know me well enough to know the pain I have lived in and through. That is often the case of people around us.
People's stories are full of twists and turns.
So, i hope i wont take so long next time.... sorry!
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Update
So, from my last blog you know about the car accident and my not driving. Well, now I am getting some counseling to deal with the lack of driving. I started the week before last and I have had 3 visits.
I think it will be helpful. It has already pointed out to me that in my life I have gone through periods when bad things have happened and I have stopped doing things because of those bad things.
Last Monday I went for my second visit and Jim, my counselor asked me to come the next day because we didnt have a full hour. When we were talking the funniest thing happened; he was so interested in the stories of my life. more so then i would have thought. He sad though the story of my life is sad it sounds like it should be a comedy sitcom with a laugh track in the back ground. So, on Monday he gave me homework to write down a list of when people have ran stop signs and broadsided me, which has lead to anxiety in my life. So, i started writing them down and when i got home that night I told Dale I had to go back the next day. He asked why. I said because I am like Joe Dirt.
My life is like Joe Dirt. I come from a real red neck family with real crazy problem that even a counselor cant believe.
It have felt life a weight has been lifted off my shoulders talking about it with the counselor. I am not embarrassed. At first I was to have to get counseling for driving. But now it feels so good to just talk about these things. But all the anxiety about the deposition, the counseling and all have drivin me to need prescription antacids for my stomach. So far my doctor is not worried, but my stomach is hurting all the time. Today is the best it has felt in almost 2 weeks.
My dad and I have been talking a lot about what I am talking about in my counseling he is proud I am getting counseling to deal with what has happened in my past. He, too has had counseling. My brother on the other hand called me today and the first thing out of his mouth is, "So, I hear they are about to take you off to the funny farm." Counseling is so not about that. I am so blessed that we have counseling right at RTS.
Jim asked me how do I attribute why I am so well adjusted, my answer only by the grace of God! I totally believe that!
Have a great weekend!
I plan to write more as i go through my counseling I hope my blog will help me process my journey!
I think it will be helpful. It has already pointed out to me that in my life I have gone through periods when bad things have happened and I have stopped doing things because of those bad things.
Last Monday I went for my second visit and Jim, my counselor asked me to come the next day because we didnt have a full hour. When we were talking the funniest thing happened; he was so interested in the stories of my life. more so then i would have thought. He sad though the story of my life is sad it sounds like it should be a comedy sitcom with a laugh track in the back ground. So, on Monday he gave me homework to write down a list of when people have ran stop signs and broadsided me, which has lead to anxiety in my life. So, i started writing them down and when i got home that night I told Dale I had to go back the next day. He asked why. I said because I am like Joe Dirt.
My life is like Joe Dirt. I come from a real red neck family with real crazy problem that even a counselor cant believe.
It have felt life a weight has been lifted off my shoulders talking about it with the counselor. I am not embarrassed. At first I was to have to get counseling for driving. But now it feels so good to just talk about these things. But all the anxiety about the deposition, the counseling and all have drivin me to need prescription antacids for my stomach. So far my doctor is not worried, but my stomach is hurting all the time. Today is the best it has felt in almost 2 weeks.
My dad and I have been talking a lot about what I am talking about in my counseling he is proud I am getting counseling to deal with what has happened in my past. He, too has had counseling. My brother on the other hand called me today and the first thing out of his mouth is, "So, I hear they are about to take you off to the funny farm." Counseling is so not about that. I am so blessed that we have counseling right at RTS.
Jim asked me how do I attribute why I am so well adjusted, my answer only by the grace of God! I totally believe that!
Have a great weekend!
I plan to write more as i go through my counseling I hope my blog will help me process my journey!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Car Accident -- October 2005
So, i thought i would start this story in the 15 minutes i have until Dale picks me up from work. It will be free flowing and unedited so forgive me.
No I wasn't in a car accident today.
On October 25, 2005 Dale and I were on our way to the closing of our new house. Were were driving on CR 419 when a girl ran a stop sign and hit our car. It was on my side of the car, luckily for me, Dale saw her just before she hit us and he slammed on the brakes and she hit the front quarter panel of the car and not my car door. That day changed my life.
I am writing this story because yesterday i decided to get some counseing to deal with the car accident and the way it makes me feel on the inside. I haven't really put into words the pain i feel inside everyday. I feel like a bit of me died that day and i feel really stupid for having to get counseling to deal with a car accident that didnt send anyone to hospital and in which no one died. I really havent driven since then much. I can drive and do drive when i have to. I just dont want to and i dont like being in the car what so ever, hence Dale is about to pick me up from work.
October 25, 2005 should have been a great day -- my niece's 5th birthday, the day we bought our new home... the day i lost my freedom... the day my heart broke... the day the started a life time of pain.
There hasnt been a day without pain or worry sine then i wonder how many days that is. I should count, but i wont right now. That frustrates me and it makes me want to cry.
Everyday people walk by me and they think well there is a girl that has her shit together, a good job, a good husband, a nice car, a nice house, what does she have to worry about?
I worry every time i get in the car about the people who dont stop at the red lights. Do you know how many people i see running red lights, i see at least 3 people a week, just run then flat out. I hate it. I worry when Dale is late picking me up... Didi he get in a car accident? Is he ok? Can he not get to his phone? He has no clue i worry so much...
I feel like a prisoner in my body my back hurts all the time, like knives poking me in the back and twisting knives in my neck, especially at the base of my skull. They tell me there is nothing they can do for me and i will probably be like this for the rest of my life. Thanks for that great news at 31.
I know i dont complain very much, but this has been a hard week. You know i have ridden my bike once since the car accident. I dont know how i will ever get back into triathlons at this pace. A sport i love!
Well dale is pulling into the parking lot.
Ill write more later, maybe this Will help me figure out my feelings.
No I wasn't in a car accident today.
On October 25, 2005 Dale and I were on our way to the closing of our new house. Were were driving on CR 419 when a girl ran a stop sign and hit our car. It was on my side of the car, luckily for me, Dale saw her just before she hit us and he slammed on the brakes and she hit the front quarter panel of the car and not my car door. That day changed my life.
I am writing this story because yesterday i decided to get some counseing to deal with the car accident and the way it makes me feel on the inside. I haven't really put into words the pain i feel inside everyday. I feel like a bit of me died that day and i feel really stupid for having to get counseling to deal with a car accident that didnt send anyone to hospital and in which no one died. I really havent driven since then much. I can drive and do drive when i have to. I just dont want to and i dont like being in the car what so ever, hence Dale is about to pick me up from work.
October 25, 2005 should have been a great day -- my niece's 5th birthday, the day we bought our new home... the day i lost my freedom... the day my heart broke... the day the started a life time of pain.
There hasnt been a day without pain or worry sine then i wonder how many days that is. I should count, but i wont right now. That frustrates me and it makes me want to cry.
Everyday people walk by me and they think well there is a girl that has her shit together, a good job, a good husband, a nice car, a nice house, what does she have to worry about?
I worry every time i get in the car about the people who dont stop at the red lights. Do you know how many people i see running red lights, i see at least 3 people a week, just run then flat out. I hate it. I worry when Dale is late picking me up... Didi he get in a car accident? Is he ok? Can he not get to his phone? He has no clue i worry so much...
I feel like a prisoner in my body my back hurts all the time, like knives poking me in the back and twisting knives in my neck, especially at the base of my skull. They tell me there is nothing they can do for me and i will probably be like this for the rest of my life. Thanks for that great news at 31.
I know i dont complain very much, but this has been a hard week. You know i have ridden my bike once since the car accident. I dont know how i will ever get back into triathlons at this pace. A sport i love!
Well dale is pulling into the parking lot.
Ill write more later, maybe this Will help me figure out my feelings.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
update on life...
I haven't posted in a while so I though I would update you on life and Krusty.
First, life...
Life has been going just fine, just a little busy.
Work:
We had graduation at RTSW a few weeks ago now, so in reality i should be in a down time, however i am playing catch-up. I am still about 3 miles behind. I am never totally caught up. I have too much to do for just one person. Oh well. Any way congrats to all the seniors who graduated. My prayer for you is this: May the Lord bless you as you go out doing what He has called you to do. May you find yourself in a place that values you and encourages you and loves you and your talents. May you wake up feeling blessed and refreshed daily and may you be given the strength to go out in the world boldy.
Home:
Life at home has been good, as usual it is the high life of my life. Dale and I have a good marriage overall, it is work as most good things are, but I enjoy it. We have painted (Dale has painted) another room -- Bahama Breeze, the game room - named for Alice Hopkins a great friend whom I miss dearly. The room is lavendar on the bottom and white on top. Dale also painted one wall of the stair well yesterday, what a diference. Painting has really made this hime feel like ours. The garden has been going well. I have about 5 tomatoes on my counter, I need to bring some into work tomorrow. The peppers are yummy. We got about 5# of green beans. So, it is going good, it is getting a little too hot for the beans.
We had house guest this week. Students at RTS, in town for the week taking a week long class, that was hard for Dale he isn't as social as I am and it is hard for him to even have family around for a week let alone people he doesnt know well, but he did well. People have a hard time with our structure and rules, too I think. People make fun of Dale and I all the time about our rule and how clean we are, but I have just found life easier that way. I dont knock other people for not being as clean, well sometimes I do, but inly when it is really gross like on "How clean is your House." I love that show by the way.
Family:
Dale's grandmother is in the hospital and the only reason we know is I asked Judy on Thursday how grammy was doing. Dale's family is funny that way. They think she has Alzemere's (i know I spelled that wrong -- sorry). My brother moved into a new office down town last week, he is excited. I am proud of him. It seems like his business is doing well. If you need a civil engineer in Jax. let me know, I know a good honest one. :)
Friends:
I haven't had much time for my friends lately for this I am sorry. I will hopefully do better in the coming weeks. Tracy leaves on Wed. for Texas for a month. Vince will be here on June 30th for a week, which will be fun. I did have a graduation party for a few friends from RTS this past Monday, it was also my annual security/department party. But I have been a bad friend lately.
Krusty dog:
Krusty is going well, is seems to be holding her own. She is having a bit of a harder time gettting up. Her har is growing back some due to one of her meds. So that is good. She is still hungry and thirsty all the time, but she is still happy and you can't tell she is really sick, so that is good. So, we keep just trying to make her happy and comfortable. No accidents in the house yet, so that is good, too. She has slipped a couple times, but she has been able to get up everytime shich is good.
So life at Green-awalt Acres is going well. It is hot here in Fla. today about 101 degrees right now, Dale and I went swiming last night at about 10pm. Today we may have to go in the afternoon. Well, I hope you know I love you all! Christina
First, life...
Life has been going just fine, just a little busy.
Work:
We had graduation at RTSW a few weeks ago now, so in reality i should be in a down time, however i am playing catch-up. I am still about 3 miles behind. I am never totally caught up. I have too much to do for just one person. Oh well. Any way congrats to all the seniors who graduated. My prayer for you is this: May the Lord bless you as you go out doing what He has called you to do. May you find yourself in a place that values you and encourages you and loves you and your talents. May you wake up feeling blessed and refreshed daily and may you be given the strength to go out in the world boldy.
Home:
Life at home has been good, as usual it is the high life of my life. Dale and I have a good marriage overall, it is work as most good things are, but I enjoy it. We have painted (Dale has painted) another room -- Bahama Breeze, the game room - named for Alice Hopkins a great friend whom I miss dearly. The room is lavendar on the bottom and white on top. Dale also painted one wall of the stair well yesterday, what a diference. Painting has really made this hime feel like ours. The garden has been going well. I have about 5 tomatoes on my counter, I need to bring some into work tomorrow. The peppers are yummy. We got about 5# of green beans. So, it is going good, it is getting a little too hot for the beans.
We had house guest this week. Students at RTS, in town for the week taking a week long class, that was hard for Dale he isn't as social as I am and it is hard for him to even have family around for a week let alone people he doesnt know well, but he did well. People have a hard time with our structure and rules, too I think. People make fun of Dale and I all the time about our rule and how clean we are, but I have just found life easier that way. I dont knock other people for not being as clean, well sometimes I do, but inly when it is really gross like on "How clean is your House." I love that show by the way.
Family:
Dale's grandmother is in the hospital and the only reason we know is I asked Judy on Thursday how grammy was doing. Dale's family is funny that way. They think she has Alzemere's (i know I spelled that wrong -- sorry). My brother moved into a new office down town last week, he is excited. I am proud of him. It seems like his business is doing well. If you need a civil engineer in Jax. let me know, I know a good honest one. :)
Friends:
I haven't had much time for my friends lately for this I am sorry. I will hopefully do better in the coming weeks. Tracy leaves on Wed. for Texas for a month. Vince will be here on June 30th for a week, which will be fun. I did have a graduation party for a few friends from RTS this past Monday, it was also my annual security/department party. But I have been a bad friend lately.
Krusty dog:
Krusty is going well, is seems to be holding her own. She is having a bit of a harder time gettting up. Her har is growing back some due to one of her meds. So that is good. She is still hungry and thirsty all the time, but she is still happy and you can't tell she is really sick, so that is good. So, we keep just trying to make her happy and comfortable. No accidents in the house yet, so that is good, too. She has slipped a couple times, but she has been able to get up everytime shich is good.
So life at Green-awalt Acres is going well. It is hot here in Fla. today about 101 degrees right now, Dale and I went swiming last night at about 10pm. Today we may have to go in the afternoon. Well, I hope you know I love you all! Christina
Monday, March 12, 2007
Somewhat Rare
I had to go back and change an answer. I couldnt choose between being voted as the most populat kid or the quietest kid. I had a LOT of friends in high school, but it came back that i was an extrovert, when i am not. so i went back and choose quietest kid. Thanks Karin :)
| Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISTP) |
 Only about 6% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 8% of all menYou are Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving. |
http://www.blogthings.com/howrareisyourpersonalityquiz/">How Rare Is Your Personality?
Friday, March 02, 2007
Me a poster child?!?!?!? I don't really think so.
A weird thing has happened to me this week my friend Cyndi who has heard me preach, teach and many other things in church and has known me perosonally outside of church for goodness 2 years now i guess said this week while we were talking on the phone that I am the "perfect poster child for Christianity." I know that is a straight up compliment and i have heard a few other people say things similar, but boy that is scary. I dont want that weight or label. I love being a Christain, all my friends and lots of other know that. I also just live my life the same way every day. I SIN, i love, i laugh, i drink, i cry, i hurt, i am human. I think that is one thing some of my Christian friends and growing Christian friends like is that i am who i am. I know God loves me and that is very freeing. I also have fealt the hand of grace in my life and because of that i try to have grace towards other people.
BUT the poster child. it turns my prayer into OH GOD give me strength! I love that people see the face of God in me, that has been a prayer since high school I have also since high school prayed i would be a beacon of light to others.
I have been thinking a lot about this idea this week and then David said how the best preaching anyone can do (if they have discovered the truth) is to Live it.
Maybe that is what i am truely doing. i think i do a horible job living as a Christian, i guess becuase i dont consider myself the poster child of Christianity. I am not good enough, i am not smart enough, i am not.... enough the list could and would go one for hours.
Oh well, i can't change how others veiw me and i guess that is better than being viewed as the worlds worst Christian. However it is scary when people lift you up so high, because if you fall you really fall and it HURTS!
Plus i know i don't take compliments well. My hair has brought that back to me in a real way lately. I dont receive many compliments on a general basis (i dont many of us do get the compliments we need to lift our spirits) however, daily i hear people say over and over how much they love my hair. I really enjoy the compliments, i have been trying to be gracious and just take the compliments, but i find it hard just to say "thank you."
I do think Victoria did an awesome job cutting it. Props go to her!
BUT the poster child. it turns my prayer into OH GOD give me strength! I love that people see the face of God in me, that has been a prayer since high school I have also since high school prayed i would be a beacon of light to others.
I have been thinking a lot about this idea this week and then David said how the best preaching anyone can do (if they have discovered the truth) is to Live it.
Maybe that is what i am truely doing. i think i do a horible job living as a Christian, i guess becuase i dont consider myself the poster child of Christianity. I am not good enough, i am not smart enough, i am not.... enough the list could and would go one for hours.
Oh well, i can't change how others veiw me and i guess that is better than being viewed as the worlds worst Christian. However it is scary when people lift you up so high, because if you fall you really fall and it HURTS!
Plus i know i don't take compliments well. My hair has brought that back to me in a real way lately. I dont receive many compliments on a general basis (i dont many of us do get the compliments we need to lift our spirits) however, daily i hear people say over and over how much they love my hair. I really enjoy the compliments, i have been trying to be gracious and just take the compliments, but i find it hard just to say "thank you."
I do think Victoria did an awesome job cutting it. Props go to her!
Friday, February 23, 2007
Brown Haired Darling
I have to say i am Dale's Brown Haired Darling and i love listening to Josh Bales song entitled "Brown Haired Darling" because it remind me of the love letter Dale sent me many many years ago. I have to say I am most thankful to God for Bringing Dale into my life. it was a true blessing of love and grace. Looking into Dales eyes each day reminds me of God's deep abiding love for me. I know all this is gushy and silly and dumb, but i am amazed daily. God is so good and we forget to look at that and we forget how important that is.
this week i was studying Genesis 22, i am spending a year in Genesis. Wow huh, not really. In Gen 22, in case you dont remember is where God tells Abraham to take Isaac to the mountain and sacrifice him.
Abraham gets up early in the morning and takes the donkey, his only son Isaac and 3 servants. You see Abraham and Sarah had waited a long time for Isaac to come into their lives and it was through their son Isaac that God promised them the multiple generations. Abraham, the servants and Isaac travel for 3 days and then Abraham leaves the servants behind and take Isaac to the mountain. Isaac asks on the way up "dad, where is the lamb" Abraham replies "son dont worry about it God will provide" The sacrifice was to be Isaac. Abraham binds him and places him on the wood pile and gets ready to kill him, when an Angel of the lord commands Abraham to stop and replace Isaac with the ram stuck in the thorns.
What a passage. The lord did provide and he blesses Abraham greatly for having the Faith to believe in the Lord and to fear him and to honor him.
You see we are often tested in our lives and we often complain and grip about it, however God is using those tests to grow us and to help to strengthen our character. Our tests may not to sacrifice our only beloved son,but remember God would never ask us to do anything He wouldn't do, including sacrificing his only son. It makes me think of how many ways i don't sacrifice myself for the Lord. you know what i mean. I come up with excuses: I am too busy, too tired, not good enough, i don't know enough, i would rather ... all excuses.
Abraham didn't give excuses. he just followed and loved the Lord.
God wasn't interested int he blood sacrifice of Isaac. God doesn't want human sacrifice and actually in Lev. he speaks against it. What God was looking for in Isaac was a heart thing, a character thing.God wanted to see if Abraham would be willing to sacrifice Isaac as a sign of Abraham's heart for the Lord. Obeying God Abraham showed his true heart and love for the Lord. Remember if God wanted Isaac dead he would have died that day.
This passage is also a parallel to Jesus on the Cross. in terms of substitution. In Gen. God substitutes Isaac with the Ram. In the NT we see Jesus as a substitute for us. Jesus died so that we might live and have eternal life. We deserve to die, but we live, while Jesus who deserves to live dies. What a sure sign of God's goodness and love for us.
I am not sure if all this makes sense, i am writing very late at night for me and after a few beers tonight.
My thought for tonight is that the Lord is amazing. He is good, even to me who deserves to die. God also loves us. For if he didnt he wouldn't send his only beloved son to die in my place. You can truly see the love of the Lord through out scriptures. Even with Adam and Eve, God shows amazing love. If i were God i would have erased them and started all over. how much easier to have done it but while Adam and Eve were in the garden.
As a friend of mine, i hope you know how much you are loved by those around you, by me and by the Lord.
this week i was studying Genesis 22, i am spending a year in Genesis. Wow huh, not really. In Gen 22, in case you dont remember is where God tells Abraham to take Isaac to the mountain and sacrifice him.
Abraham gets up early in the morning and takes the donkey, his only son Isaac and 3 servants. You see Abraham and Sarah had waited a long time for Isaac to come into their lives and it was through their son Isaac that God promised them the multiple generations. Abraham, the servants and Isaac travel for 3 days and then Abraham leaves the servants behind and take Isaac to the mountain. Isaac asks on the way up "dad, where is the lamb" Abraham replies "son dont worry about it God will provide" The sacrifice was to be Isaac. Abraham binds him and places him on the wood pile and gets ready to kill him, when an Angel of the lord commands Abraham to stop and replace Isaac with the ram stuck in the thorns.
What a passage. The lord did provide and he blesses Abraham greatly for having the Faith to believe in the Lord and to fear him and to honor him.
You see we are often tested in our lives and we often complain and grip about it, however God is using those tests to grow us and to help to strengthen our character. Our tests may not to sacrifice our only beloved son,but remember God would never ask us to do anything He wouldn't do, including sacrificing his only son. It makes me think of how many ways i don't sacrifice myself for the Lord. you know what i mean. I come up with excuses: I am too busy, too tired, not good enough, i don't know enough, i would rather ... all excuses.
Abraham didn't give excuses. he just followed and loved the Lord.
God wasn't interested int he blood sacrifice of Isaac. God doesn't want human sacrifice and actually in Lev. he speaks against it. What God was looking for in Isaac was a heart thing, a character thing.God wanted to see if Abraham would be willing to sacrifice Isaac as a sign of Abraham's heart for the Lord. Obeying God Abraham showed his true heart and love for the Lord. Remember if God wanted Isaac dead he would have died that day.
This passage is also a parallel to Jesus on the Cross. in terms of substitution. In Gen. God substitutes Isaac with the Ram. In the NT we see Jesus as a substitute for us. Jesus died so that we might live and have eternal life. We deserve to die, but we live, while Jesus who deserves to live dies. What a sure sign of God's goodness and love for us.
I am not sure if all this makes sense, i am writing very late at night for me and after a few beers tonight.
My thought for tonight is that the Lord is amazing. He is good, even to me who deserves to die. God also loves us. For if he didnt he wouldn't send his only beloved son to die in my place. You can truly see the love of the Lord through out scriptures. Even with Adam and Eve, God shows amazing love. If i were God i would have erased them and started all over. how much easier to have done it but while Adam and Eve were in the garden.
As a friend of mine, i hope you know how much you are loved by those around you, by me and by the Lord.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Thanks karin
Today my friend Karin, who I know through RTS and the internet told me i shoudl blog more. I think I will. At least i will try. I am not sure how many will be here or at myspace, but I hope both. Karin and I mainly talk ont he internet and I hope we continue to grow in at least that friendship.
I am amazed at how much better we can be through these media at communicating with others. I am ok at keeping in touch with old friends, but it is a lot easier thoguh myspace, facebook and even here. I am thankful for the media and the ability to write out my thoughts.
Over all i think i have a good life even great, thoguh i cant always say that. I have had a hard life in many ways, but i have been able to be thankful for the past and the present and i hope i continue to be hopeful for the future.
I did hear sad news today. My friend Kelli B. lost her dad on Sunday, he had been sick, but i really didnt realize it. I remember a long time ago he wasnt doign well and that is one reason she moved back home. I am not sure if he never got better. I dont talk with Kelli much but she is often in my heart.
This has been a hard week. I mad my sister-in-law mad at me and for that i am sorry! I hope she forgives me and trusts me again one day.
Oh well. I hope this weekend to have a good theological blog. I hope it will grow me and help me to study more.
Thanks Karin for encouraging me to write more.
I am amazed at how much better we can be through these media at communicating with others. I am ok at keeping in touch with old friends, but it is a lot easier thoguh myspace, facebook and even here. I am thankful for the media and the ability to write out my thoughts.
Over all i think i have a good life even great, thoguh i cant always say that. I have had a hard life in many ways, but i have been able to be thankful for the past and the present and i hope i continue to be hopeful for the future.
I did hear sad news today. My friend Kelli B. lost her dad on Sunday, he had been sick, but i really didnt realize it. I remember a long time ago he wasnt doign well and that is one reason she moved back home. I am not sure if he never got better. I dont talk with Kelli much but she is often in my heart.
This has been a hard week. I mad my sister-in-law mad at me and for that i am sorry! I hope she forgives me and trusts me again one day.
Oh well. I hope this weekend to have a good theological blog. I hope it will grow me and help me to study more.
Thanks Karin for encouraging me to write more.
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