Me a poster child?!?!?!? I don't really think so.

A weird thing has happened to me this week my friend Cyndi who has heard me preach, teach and many other things in church and has known me perosonally outside of church for goodness 2 years now i guess said this week while we were talking on the phone that I am the "perfect poster child for Christianity." I know that is a straight up compliment and i have heard a few other people say things similar, but boy that is scary. I dont want that weight or label. I love being a Christain, all my friends and lots of other know that. I also just live my life the same way every day. I SIN, i love, i laugh, i drink, i cry, i hurt, i am human. I think that is one thing some of my Christian friends and growing Christian friends like is that i am who i am. I know God loves me and that is very freeing. I also have fealt the hand of grace in my life and because of that i try to have grace towards other people.
BUT the poster child. it turns my prayer into OH GOD give me strength! I love that people see the face of God in me, that has been a prayer since high school I have also since high school prayed i would be a beacon of light to others.
I have been thinking a lot about this idea this week and then David said how the best preaching anyone can do (if they have discovered the truth) is to Live it.
Maybe that is what i am truely doing. i think i do a horible job living as a Christian, i guess becuase i dont consider myself the poster child of Christianity. I am not good enough, i am not smart enough, i am not.... enough the list could and would go one for hours.
Oh well, i can't change how others veiw me and i guess that is better than being viewed as the worlds worst Christian. However it is scary when people lift you up so high, because if you fall you really fall and it HURTS!
Plus i know i don't take compliments well. My hair has brought that back to me in a real way lately. I dont receive many compliments on a general basis (i dont many of us do get the compliments we need to lift our spirits) however, daily i hear people say over and over how much they love my hair. I really enjoy the compliments, i have been trying to be gracious and just take the compliments, but i find it hard just to say "thank you."
I do think Victoria did an awesome job cutting it. Props go to her!